new year

i find myself reflecting on this past year.

as a student, and future teacher, i tend to think of years academically.
i'm trying to shift that, and i'm not sure why.

so, a brief list of major things that happened in 2011

trip to austria and germany with luther college symphony orchestra (including attending the officer's ball and performing in the Konzerthaus) - BALLIN'
trip to eau claire with maren and karla to visit our nordic boiz
i took nursing major chemistry - lame
i passed nursing major chemistry - awesome
i performed my junior recital
presented in the research symposium for the second time
performed in the opera as a 7yr old violin student
ended a major relationship
acquired 3 speeding tickets. yep. that happened.
joined nordic choir.
lost my aunt and grandmother
worked my butt off as a server (summer job)
spilled orange juice on my computer
moved into a 'house' with 5 wonderful women
taught some challenging lessons
experienced real life moments in hospitals
went to fogo de chao (don't even try to fight me, this was major)
performed in my last christmas at luther
acquired positions teaching preschool music and adult choir
became much more thankful for queen maggie mae mcfinnigan (our scotty) after she nearly died
road tripped to visit megan in illinois to see the last harry potter movie. ever. (with karen and alyssa)
started a relationship (or two.... ha)
continued to rock with strangz (winning open mic night for the second year in a row)
got approval for my vocal recital (to come in 2012)
turned 21


thats all i could think of in one sitting.
that was major.
what a year.
can i take a nap now?
i'll start 2012 tomorrow.

simplicity

You can break teaching down to be about lots of things. There's an endless amount of things you can worry about or focus on as a teacher.

I'm here to tell you that I've found 2 new things to do that cover ALL those little things.

1)be prepared.
2)relate to people.



After a relatively rough week, I called my mom and she told me that there are always going to be ups and downs, which did make me feel better. What DIDNT make me feel better is that my poor performance was my own fault - I had failed to be totally prepared, which made me unable to relate to the people I was teaching and working with. So, improvement. Be prepared (when possible). Be human.

That's all I've got for now.

advice

In teaching lessons this summer, I found myself doing what all my teachers before me had done - repeat themselves.

I sort of had an issue with it, just because it was new... but then I realized that I liked the things I was saying. Perfect example, "I want you to know its okay to make mistakes. We aren't trying to be perfect, we're just trying to play it better than last time". I said this in hopes of making playing for me less scary / stressful / high stakes for a 5th grader.

Well, now is the time when those words come back to haunt me. (Like when I told Carah my favorite/least favorite thing that "You don't have to want to, you just have to" and now she tells me that all the time).

I recently had a day that did NOT meet my expectations for whatever reason. I felt unprepared, disorganized, and not into it. All of these things that were going on. I just was checked out. So. first of all... huge reminder to be present and aware of what in the world i should be doing.

well, after significant upsets, I was feeling defeated. How could I think I'd be a good music teacher when I'd had this awful day of performances, preparations, and lessons. (To be clear, the choir I was working with sounded good, I just was unprepared)

what was i supposed to think would make the rest of my career any different than yesterday?
so, i told my mom.
and she said some things that really did make me feel okay. not perfect or happy or better, it just made sense and felt right.

what i've figured out is that theory and practice are 2 very different things. saying its okay that it's not perfect is not the same as being emotionally okay with a performance that was less than expected. its much harder to accept my faults than it is for me to identify my students' and try to help them with it. shouldn't i be able to teach myself to be a teacher? is that a chicken or the egg moment?

anyway, i'm just shooting for better next time.
cause that's what i've got to look forward to :)
lots of next times.
lots of room for improvement.

HALLELUJA

i succeeded in re-claiming my blog.

dear google,

i win.

-emm


ps thanks for the directions this time.

circus

tonight i went to the circus for the first time.

holy cows.


cirque do soleil's ovo was AMAZING!
the foot jugglers blew my mind.
i kind of want to be a contortionist.
the trampoline/climbing wall people scared me.
trapeze and climing rope took my breath away.
and the music was so much fun.


it was so hard to believe that the what i saw were real humans. normal humans that pushed themselves and found opportunities for these skills. the human body - beautiful and surprising.


small world, meeting gus's friend from st.olaf who is good friends with trevor. really good to see gus, and i hope he has a great time in oslo this summer.

so glad i went to the circus :)

any suggestions? any takers?

alright.


here's the deal.


i like me. but me is getting kind of boring (understandably boring after 21 years of life!), so i wanna try out some different stuff.
i want to stretch my boundaries, strike out, run with the wolves, dip my toes in foreign waters, what-have-you kind of nonsense.

so, any adventures or activities in mind?
weird stuff or opportunities?


holler.

srsly.

:)

http://www.marcandangel.com/

stop wearing you wishbone where your back bone aught to be
-eat pray love