surprise!

I never would have predicted this enjoyment and love of the violin.


so weird.
it's always just been a part of me, something i like and do well.
but now.... i am becoming moderately attached to it.




so fun :)

Do you ever feel so lost, you love it?

...lend your ears to music, open your eyes to painting, and... stop thinking! Just ask yourself whether the work has enabled you to "walk about" into a hiterto unknown world. If the answer is yes, what more do you want?
-Kandinsky, 1910




:)

:D

I could NOT have imagined my recital going better.

warning. this might sound like braging. sorry :/
Honestly, I did not expect anything that good to come out of me and my instrument.
I feel so happy with my performance - and I am proud of myself because it was all my work (along with Chelsea and Tarn :))
it all came together today in the must fulfilling way



it was FUN.
and i liked it.
and it sounded good :)




so happy.

i'm gonna go take a nap now :)

desire and drive sometimes are blockers

i have often felt like I learn the most about myself as a person during voice lessons -( which might be why I consistently get a B or B-, my strongest learning often comes at the cost of something else ). This week, and last week I have been learning about my desire and intention being a blocker. I'm trying too hard to get exactly what I want - and not letting what comes naturally actually happen.

So, working on my 361 (Jr Practicum) assignments, listening to pandora, I came across Alexi Murdoch's "A Song For You", in which he writes,
"So Im trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I dont know even where to start "


All this trying has made me tight, from trying to get it right.
what the hell is right?
all the time, i ask myself "what should I ____?"
conscerning how I spend my time, what I eat, whether I address an issue, how to behave towards someone.
it's always SHOULD. and why is that? did I get ingraned into my head (from myself or someone/somewhere else) that there is one BEST way to live or do things? Cause I know i don't think that, but thinking and living are two different things, and it seems as though I'm living as if there is one best way to do it. it's exhausting and confusing.


so... that was my study break.
back to evaluating curriculum and reflecting on time spent with students :)