desire and drive sometimes are blockers

i have often felt like I learn the most about myself as a person during voice lessons -( which might be why I consistently get a B or B-, my strongest learning often comes at the cost of something else ). This week, and last week I have been learning about my desire and intention being a blocker. I'm trying too hard to get exactly what I want - and not letting what comes naturally actually happen.

So, working on my 361 (Jr Practicum) assignments, listening to pandora, I came across Alexi Murdoch's "A Song For You", in which he writes,
"So Im trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I dont know even where to start "


All this trying has made me tight, from trying to get it right.
what the hell is right?
all the time, i ask myself "what should I ____?"
conscerning how I spend my time, what I eat, whether I address an issue, how to behave towards someone.
it's always SHOULD. and why is that? did I get ingraned into my head (from myself or someone/somewhere else) that there is one BEST way to live or do things? Cause I know i don't think that, but thinking and living are two different things, and it seems as though I'm living as if there is one best way to do it. it's exhausting and confusing.


so... that was my study break.
back to evaluating curriculum and reflecting on time spent with students :)