about children

I totally love kids, but they don't usually totally love me. I was talking with Mackenzie about this, and kids and animals are just drawn to her and my brothers. I think it's because they grew up taking care of their little siblings whereas I was the little sibling. Children don't hate me or anything, a few children downright LOVE me, but they're not drawn to me like my brothers or Mackenzie.

My cousins are here from Sioux Falls and I really love it. It was a little overwhelming at first, just because I'm so used to being so lazy (I haven't done anything at all for the last three or four days). It takes a lot of work to keep them entertained and busy and especially answer all their questions! I was coming home from shopping with my mom and I was kinda freaking out because I hadn't been mentally preparing myself to deal with kids, and it occured to me that children don't phase my mother ONE BIT. She works with kids every single day, and I think that's awesome. When comparing careers, I had always assumed that the elementary music educators were the less hardcore, less talented musicians that really liked music but didn't want to study it or work on it so much. No, they're not teaching you how to conduct mixed meters or evaluate chord progressions, but they're achieving something. Basic understanding and enjoyment of music is a great thing, especially with children.

Anyway.... Christmas has been really great. I got home and cleaned and made far too much food for our annual brunch. I went to the holidazzle, and made TWO gingerbread houses (one with my cousins last night!) I almost got shot at fleet farm because I couldn't keep my mouth shot. bahahaha. so not true, but people were staring me and that was TOTALLY conceal and carry country. I bought Gloria Estefan's christmas CD. I saw 4 Christmases with my family, which was HILAR. aaaaaaaaand I went shopping with my mom.
and now i'm going to go ice fishing with my cousins. yep. my dad's obsessed with ice fishing, and in my 18 years of existence, this is MY FIRST TIME!
(except I'm only planning on going for a half hour. bahah!)

ps i woke up today to a third grade boy, named Henry, knocking on my head, yelling "WAKE UP!" life is so good!

another thought

I was talking with my Dad tonight about how lucky I am, and how unequal the standard of living is in just minneapolis. I got to thinking, and i asked my dad if he thought that i, as a person, could have been born to a different set of parents on a different continent. As if I were a soul, a person, already created, and then placed in a family. it's so weird for me to think about, but it's so cool at the same time!

so there you go.
feel free to answer.

One Thing I Wish..

I wish that when you looked at something, you could see the time that was spent producing it. If you really think about it, you can piece all the parts of the process together and come up with it. I really wish there was some kind of label that clearly communicated time and effort.

I read through my Paideia papers from this semester, and it took me like 3 minutes to read one paper. It was ridiculous to me because I spent so much time working on them, planning them out, worrying about them, and it just went past me in 3 minutes.

I made a million christmas buttons tonight, and it took me an hour and a half. If you look at the three pans and think that it only takes 5 minutes to bake that it took like a half hour tops. Things like that. Being able to see the time, effort, love, anything that goes into producing something.

just a thought.

This May Seem So Stupid,

But I want to get my nose pierced. That's not what seems stupid. I think what seems unreasonable and annoys me is my parents "policy" on piercings and tattoos.

Mindy and Terry's policy on piercings, tattoos, and emmalee.
No. Not until you are paying your own bills.

Alright. I guess I get the whole tattoo thing. I know I'm 18, and I probs won't want it forever. My one little discrepancy with their policy on tattos is that my older brother got one while he was in college. He didn't ask, but still. If I'm responsible enough to consider it, ask my parents about it (doing the "responsible" (aka obedient) thing), and do it, I think that says I've put a lot of thought into what I want and how long I want it on my body.

I would love to get my nose pierced. I think I would look really good with my nose pierced. Yes, I think I look just fine without getting my nose pierced, but why not? I feel like I missed out on that whole "body modification" phase everybody else seemed to go though. The closest I got was extensions (which I totally loved by the way). I've never died my hair, or cut it SUPER short, or pierced anything but my ears. NAM!? (i don't want to get my nose pierced for the sole reason of going through the body modification phase so i can be like everybody else...)

and here's my thing. I've already proved I'm responsible. I can take care of myself, I do just fine in school, I don't get into trouble. AND OMG ITS NOT PERMANENT!

"what if you have a job interview?"
.... then i take it out.

not a big d.

why this is on my mind right now,
i have no idea.

time to study music theory and french!
A HON HON!


NINE DAYS AND 23 HOURS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!
and.... 43 hours until I'm HOME in da 612!

The Johnson Family Christmas Brunch

I'm really excited to go home! once again, I'll be spending some quality time in a high functioning kitchen. Every year, my parents host this "brunch". It's basically like a grad party, minus all the horrible pictures and cards filled with money. People just come over and eat stuff and talk. pretty snazzy. I'ma make me some chex mix (80 million pounds!) christmas buttons, and biscotti. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i just really want to go ice skating. and go to the mpls public library. and, idunno. practice, read, and whatever. NAM!?

so ... finals. about that... i'm totally the worst person in teh world when it comes to doing things that are "suggested" or "assumed" rather than required or turned in. aka, reading and studying. so... this should be fun. i have piano proficiency on monday, and i wasn't really planning on passing it this semester. I was kinda gonna suck at my proficiency exam, take it another semester, and then pass in the spring. I told my teacher, and she said I should just go for it because "you're close". Not to insult her, because she's an amazing teacher, but I really don't see myself being anywhere close to ready. all those scales, and a homophonic score ? w.t.f. mate. fer serious.

mmmmm sleeep time.

Alright, so...

Here I am, at 1:46 am on the last day of classes. in 13 hours, I'll be done with my first semester of college (classes, i mean. i still 3 days of finals). To me, that is a really surprising statement. I don't feel as if I've been here for 15 weeks. At the same time, it feels like its been both 2 weeks and forever.

I've come to know so many new names, had some truly unique experiences, learned some valuable lessons outside of the classroom, and expanded academically and musically. I've been challenged socially, ethically, and personally. I made some mistakes, got far too little sleep, found a community, and questioned my purpose in everything I do. I learned about "silly space", changed my shoulder rest, cried in both of my lessons, turned in something I was ashamed of, and received a good grade. I played mariachi music for string orchestra, participated in japanese dance, researched presidential candidates, memorized key signatures, had "two cookie days", played raquetball by my own rules, and never studied more than 5 minutes for a french test.

I'm thinking back to the day that I took all my syllabi and put all the important dates and assignments into my calendar. I was so sure that I wasn't going to make it. Everything was so overwhelming, and I kind of floundered for a while. I knew I was, and I was okay with it. I'm still okay with it. Now though, looking to second semester and jterm, I'm really excited. I'm still scared, but I am looking forward to coming back with a sense of stability and sense of direction.

Thinking about all that's happened in the last 15 weeks is overwhelming in a really positive way.