in honor of my friends.

my lovely readers demand that i post.

so here's what's up.

I've hit a hard place, and it is what it is. No confusion or anger, it just is what it is. (i know I already said that)
what's really going on in my brain is using that hard place as an excuse. i enjoy skipping violin sectionals as much as the next person, but really? what was my reason!? ..... it was my current struggle.

seriously!? where do i get off saying that? how many people in the world are going through harder things by no fault of their own? it's ridiculous, how easy I am on myself. No, I'm not absolutely normal right now. But does that mean I shouldn't do my primary job in being and taking care of myself? absolutely not. what kind of message does that send to myself? that it's alright if i suck at the violin, because ONE PERSON isn't in my life anymore. guess what ONE PERSON will always be there? me. i will always be where ever i am, good or bad times - caused by myself or by others.

this is where i get close to me.
this is NOT the time during which I use someone else as an excuse for MY short comings.