Development

As someone who cares about education and learning, I often find myself mentioning the word development - speaking of them as clearly defined stages, like mile markers on the highway.

I read something a while ago that said something about outgrowing dependency. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing now? Growing up - separating, defining, and exploring myself. free of influence.

If this is a part of growing, am I still developing? I thought stages of development were supposed to stop at like 18. But now that I think about it, there was definitely something in my Ed Psych textbook about the main struggle and questions of each decade in life.

i guess i'm just here to whine. as usual. when do i get answers. when do i get to feel secure?
I'm beginning to wonder if I will be able to recognize something that I'm sure about. It seems like such a foreign, unlikely thing - to be sure. In a big picture kind of way - not the "this answer to question #8 on my math homework is right. i'm sure" kind of way.

is doing something you're not sure of an act of courage or stupidity? I'm not even speaking of some specific thing, but just in general. I'm beginning to wonder if i'm slowly walking of a cliff with my chin held high.

a very wise woman once told me (and continues to tell me) not to wish time away.

but SERIOUSLY can I just be 25 already? I'd like to know whether or not I'm any good in a classroom. I'd like to know where I'll be geographically. I'd like to know WHAT I'm going to teach because YES i do have an identity complex over my "emphasis" or "specialty". I'd like to know if I can even live on my own.

Seriously, this is the me in a nutshell. Never where I want to be. Always wanting to be a step ahead. moderately frustrated and mostly impatient. or, put more simply - always the little girl in the back seat saying "ARE WE THERE YET?".

c'mon little girl, take a friggin nap.
you'll get there.
calm down.