not seriously, but it'd be nice.
so frequently i operate out of fear. i put off decisions because i'm scared of making the wrong one. i hate that i have so engrained in my brain that there IS at all a wrong choice. right now i'm thinking specifically of what my major is going to be. I feel like choosing between these two majors (music ed and writing my own major in Fine Arts Education (which wouldn't include a teaching license)) is basically deciding who i will be and where i will go for the REST OF MY LIFE. i do realize that i can change my mind if i don't like it, and that i don't have to do the same exact thing for the rest of my life, but i know that one thing can lead to another. i, however, have no idea what my one thing will be. everybody has their (logical) opinions, EXCEPT for me.
i believe i have found my largest fault; i do not know what i want.
i've found it in so many places in my life and each time it doesn't surprise me.
i fail to commit because i don't know if its what I really want. I won't commit unless I know it's worth my effort, so I end up being lazy.
there.
figured it out.
next step.... fix it?
or as my parents would say, "next step, build a wall!"
1 comment:
I've been freaking out the last 3 years about picking the perfect major and then figuring out the perfect career. Then at a discussion panel for seniors this year someone said "you don't have to find your career right away; your first job doesn't trap you in any way," and I've been able to breathe ever since. Just stick with what you love and enjoy college for now, and let the future take care of itself.
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